In my last installment, I noted how the manufacturers of bathroom tissue have been shrinking the size of the sheets and the number of sheets per roll in order to keep abreast of price inflation.  One recent trick is that manufacturers have enlarged the diameter of the cardboard roll in the middle, so the overall size of the roll remains the same but you don’t notice there is much less actual paper wrapped around that cardboard center.

Today I’ll compare four different brands so readers can better decide which is the better buy.

Now, I realize that some people cling to brand loyalty with their toilet paper for reasons I can’t fathom.  To these people, I say “more power to you.” I will not attempt to change your mind.  But although my relationship with toilet paper is an intimate one, it’s not that intimate, and what brand I use is not that significant.  As long as my bathroom tissue gets the job done, the only thing I care about is how much money I’m flushing down the toilet with it.

So when it comes to bathroom tissue, I don’t much care for the fancy flowers imprinted on each sheet. Price is my main consideration, and ancillary to that is whether there is a sufficient amount of paper on each roll to justify the price.

I’ve only chosen four brands to conduct this comparison with, because toilet paper comes in a huge variety of sized packages.  Some people may prefer to store the big packages of 36 or 48 rolls from Costco or Sam’s Club, but for my purposes, I’m putting aside the twelve roll packages that come either stacked  four rolls of three (which I can store by squeezing them into tall, narrow spaces), or the stockier packages of two layers of 6 rolls each, which stack nicely one on top of the other.

The following packages were purchased over three weeks ago, so note that prices may have already gone up on some of them.

Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care

This package caught my eye in Walgreen’s because it was a brand name and there was a big splash on the package which read “Wow! Only $5.00!”

Since I’ve notice that 12 roll packages of Cottonelle have been running about $6.99, that looked like a pretty good deal.  Time to buy a whole bunch of them and stock up while the price is right!

Well, not so fast. I bought just one and took it home for my not totally scientific analysis.

It turns out that these particular rolls of Cottonelle bathroom tissue were sufficiently less hefty than their regular packages of 12.  For one thing, the package didn’t claim to consist of “double rolls” as its sister package of the same brand did, but of “12 large rolls.”  “Large,” I guess, is in the eye of the beholder.  Connie and I are the only two people left living here, yet it seemed like we were going through a roll of this every day.

It may look large, but when I held one of these in my hand it was like hefting a marshmallow.  Each roll consisted of only 113 two ply sheets, each sheet measuring 4.2 by 4.0 for a total of 157 square feet.  Weighing one of the rolls on my postal scale, I get a weight of 2.3 ounces per roll.

What really surprised me about this, being a brand name and all, is that these particular Cottonelles failed the Tug Test.  I’m sure there are more scientific ways of testing the strength of a sheet of toilet paper, but I chose this: I hold a sheet between my thumbs and forefingers and give it a gentle to moderate tug to see how easily it rips.  These Cottonelles ripped quite easily with just the gentlest of tugs.

Nice! Premium Ultra Bathroom Tissue 

I bought this package of 12 double rolls at Walgreens at the same time I bought the Cottonelles above. The price was $5.99, a dollar more than the Cottonelles, but I think the addition of more paper per roll makes it the better bargain of the two.

Each roll had 176 2 ply sheets measuring 4.27 by 4 inches per sheet, with a total square inches of 250.5.  Weight per roll was 2.8 ounces. Tug test: moderate.

Angel Soft

I got this brand at Walmart for $5.97. The package reads “12 Double Roll Bonus Pack=More Than 28 Regular Rolls.”

Now we’re talking. These hefty rolls weigh in at 5.0 ounces -almost double the brands above- and contain 360 sheets per roll.  The toilet paper squares on these rolls are actually square, at 4 inches by 4 inches. A package contains 480 square feet of toilet paper. They don’t do so well in the Tug Test, though. A gentle tug produces an easy rip.

Big Lots Bathroom Tissue

Tying for first place with me is this package available from Big Lots Stores for $5.00 a package.  Where the Angel Soft tissue stacks height-wise, these stocky boys can stack floor to ceiling, taking up only about 81/2 by 12 inches of floor space -not much more of a footprint than a sheet of paper.

A roll contains 286 2 ply sheets measuring 4 by 4 inches; the total square inches is 381 feet.  Each roll weighs 4.6 ounces, and it passes the Tug Test with a moderate tug.

Naturally, you’re going to want to find the right toilet paper for you. Don’t just go with the cheapest you can find.  I’ve bought some very inexpensive toilet paper in my day that was so flimsy I could see lint flying off it when I tore it from the roll.

Just as there is a rule of thumb that you should store food that you know you will actually be willing to eat one day, you’re going to want to store toilet paper that you will be comfortable using.